Opening his heart to a person, it happens that he turns his back on you. People do not notice our good deeds, because when you have a desire to help someone, they will never appreciate it. Being in such a situation, one involuntarily asks the question: "What is my fault? Where is my mistake? ”. What exactly is the reason? This instructive parable will answer this question.

One fine day, a girl knocked on the door to the old man, she wept bitterly and told the sage the story of her grief.

“I have no idea how to live in this world ...” she said with excitement in her voice. - Throughout my life, I treated people the way I wanted to be myself, honest and open to them ... In any case, I carried kindness and warmth, without asking for a response, provided all possible assistance. I actually did not think about self-interest, but in return I received chuckles and slander. I feel very bad, I feel overwhelmed and depressed ... Please tell me what should I do?

The sage patiently listened and then gave the girl advice:

Undress naked and walk completely naked through the streets of the city, the old man said calmly.

Sorry, but I haven’t come to that yet ... You must be crazy or kidding! I do this, I don’t know what to expect from passers-by ... You look, someone else will dishonor me or abuse me ...

The sage suddenly got up, opened the door and put a mirror on the table.

You are ashamed to go out into the street naked, but for some reason you are not at all ashamed to go around the world with a naked soul, open like this door, wide open. You let everyone in there. Your soul is a mirror, which is why we all see the reflection of ourselves in other people. Their soul is full of evil and vices - it is such an ugly picture that they see when they look into your pure soul. They lack the strength and courage to admit that you are better than them, and change. Unfortunately, this is the destiny of only truly courageous ...

What should I do? How can I change this situation if, in fact, nothing depends on me? - asked the beauty.

Come with me, I’ll show you something ... Look, this is my garden. For many years now I have been watering these flowers of unprecedented beauty and taking care of them. Frankly, I have never seen the buds of these flowers open. All I had to contemplate were beautiful blossoming flowers that beckon with their beauty and fragrant aroma.

Child, learn from nature. Look at these wonderful flowers and do as they are - open your heart to people carefully so that no one even notices. Open the soul to good people. Get away from those who cut off your petals, throw them under your feet and trample on. These weeds have not yet grown to you, so you will not help them in any way. In you they will only see an ugly reflection of themselves.

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Unfortunately, recently from the mouth peoplewho come to see a psychologist, you often hear the expression: “The truth is said:“ Do not do good, you will not get evil. ”But you can’t say so categorically, imagine what our world would be like if all people lived on this principle .

At the same time it really happens painfullywhen helping someone and trusting him completely, you become a victim of deception or you receive evil in gratitude. For example, having regretted some, the owner invites him to live with him and after a while he finds himself in a situation where a relative begins to show his character, finds out the relationship and leaves to live in another place, expressing resentment instead of gratitude. He ceases to communicate with the owner and talks about him to everyone as a man who offended him and was not worthy of respect.

So it turns out that master he wanted to do good to a relative, but in return received evil. It is not in vain that the expression “don’t do good, you will not get evil” is popular among the people, and it’s especially relevant today, when many people try not to notice the problems of other people and are only concerned about their own well-being.

For ease of presentation meaning of this expression, as an example, consider human development. After birth, the child is completely dependent on the mother, although he himself is not yet aware of this. While mother takes care of him and is on maternity leave, the baby takes mother's care for granted. But then mom goes to work, and takes the child to kindergarten. Naturally, the child does not like this course of events, he cries and realizes the absence of his mother, as in the first evil in his life. But in the evening, mom comes to pick him up, and the baby rejoice, getting pleasure from her return. So he first knows that the return of his mother is good.

However now kid afraid that evil might happen again. He begins to better recognize his needs and tries to prevent evil at all costs, but he loves to have fun. This leads to the development of his egoism, but so far only spontaneous childish. A little later, a person develops rational egoism, he begins to understand that he is not alone in striving for pleasure and involuntarily begins to compare himself with other people. He sees that someone manages to live well, and someone is deprived of life. So a person has empathy and sympathy.

Due to features upbringing in some people these feelings turn into altruism - in the willingness to selflessly do good to people, regardless of their interests. The altruist, while doing good, does not at the same time look out for any material benefit for himself and is guided only by mercy and compassion in his actions. So, to understand the meaning of the expression: “Do not do good, you will not get evil”, you must be an altruist in your soul. When doing good, one does not need to demand from man or from God his return. After all, many do good and wait for dedication. If the “barter exchange” does not work, then the person regrets that he has done good to another person to the detriment of his interests. He thinks that he received evil for the good shown to them.

According to statistics altruists in the world only 10%, and the remaining 90% of people living on the planet, can consider themselves selfish. Healthy egoism does not allow us to do much good to others, so as not to question our well-being and survival of family members. Of course, many of us are ready to help a person in need, but altruists try to find those who need help themselves and surround them with care and attention. They are all worried: the ecological situation, sick children, lonely old people, the extinction of rare animals and everything else that could harm human health and life. Today altruists are becoming volunteers, helping lonely old people and orphans, sick animals and everyone who is in a difficult life situation. At all times, the foundations of society have been wholly based on the concept of altruists, because their behavior and lifestyle are beneficial to the state and to the people themselves.

But not always gratuitous help can be appreciated by others. For example, how many people are saved from death every day by doctors, and instead of gratitude, they often hear words of accusation against them.

To help to people - a doctor’s professional duty, but to impose your help on everyone, if you don’t work, and nobody asks you about it, you don’t need to. Forcefully imposed good is an unpleasant invasion of someone else's life. For example, many parents continue to help their adult children financially, although they themselves earn good money and do not need them. By doing good, they unconsciously try to make their children dependent so that they are always grateful to them and answer with good for good. But the children have their own family, they try, following the example of their parents, to provide their children first, and they visit the elderly parents whenever possible.

For this reason, often conflicts between generations, where parents blame their children with the words: "we helped you, and now you help." But only the disinterested manifestation of good necessarily returns to man. That is, if you want to help people - help, but do not impose your help on them unnecessarily. And having done a good deed, immediately forget and do not tell anyone else about it. After all, all people want to look successful and independent, and hate pity and patronage in relation to themselves.