Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thanks for that
for discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us at Facebook And In contact with

We all want to live the life of our dreams, full of freedom and pleasure. However, at some point, a person agrees to a logical and realistic existence, which is spoken about by parents, those around him and the media. He begins to follow other people's settings, fulfilling the average life scenario, and not building his own, unique and interesting. It is never too late to change the course of events, the main thing is to want changes.

We are in website collected warning signs that you are not living your life, and recommendations on how to change it right now.

1. You feel like criticizing other people.

Are you annoyed by your former classmate who decided to change her profession and has already achieved great success without a specialized education? Or a friend who suddenly became a blogger and now constantly travels and is recognized on the streets?

Such irritation often hides envy, and envy is born from a sense of one's own unfulfillment and confusion. This does not necessarily mean that you yourself want to become a blogger or freelancer. There is a general annoyance that other people have found their way in life, achieved success and enjoy life. But for some reason you don't.

2. You are bored

Are you bored at work, are you bored surrounded by friends, boredom overcomes you even on vacation? Feeling bored is a sure sign that you are not reaching your full potential. You just haven't identified your interests and chosen your true path in life. And the interests of the people around you do not suit you, because of this you are bored with them.

3. The enthusiasm of those around you annoys or makes you sad.

At an unloved job, sooner or later your colleagues and boss will start to piss you off, you will not want to work in a team or complete tasks, and uninteresting friends will begin to cause aggression. After all, apathy and lack of interest in those around them are anger, suffering, excitement and longing due to the impossibility of realizing what was conceived or desired in life.

4. You feel like everything is going wrong.

There are periods when everything you undertake fails, expectations are not met and desires do not come true. However, if this period is prolonged, you need to think about it. Someone will call it a black stripe, but in reality this is a sign that it's time to change your life.

When a person begins to do what he sincerely loves, creates the life that brings him pleasure, everything goes easier. The right people appear, the plans are realized.

5. You prefer to follow the convoluted path to achieve success.

If, if you want to change your profession or move to another country, you are already starting to design a multi-stage and difficult path leading to the achievement of your goal in your thoughts - this is a sure sign that you are not living your life.

We believe that if you work hard, you can quickly achieve success. But if you are not doing exactly what you really love, it will be difficult to achieve your goals. If you work hard to please others and not yourself, you are not living your life.

If your work is uncreative and unenthusiastic, the results will always disappoint you. Focus on the work that brings you pleasure, then you have every chance to be happy and successful.

7. You feel like life is passing you by.

If you leave work with a sense of relief and freedom, expect the guests to return home as soon as possible and love being alone, it's time to change something. If there is a feeling that real life is happening where you are not, and you want to avoid acquaintances and friends, then you do not find meaning in what you are doing. It is necessary to listen to the feeling of discomfort and draw the right conclusions.

8. You don't want to take risks

When you live your life according to other people's rules, you try to stick to the safe options. Perhaps people have said that your dreams are difficult or impossible to achieve. But they also have their own interests and attitudes, and only you know what can really make you happy.

If you always choose the safe option when choosing education, profession, travel, and people around you, it can help you avoid pain, disappointment, and embarrassment, but you will never achieve true happiness and success. In real you will not be able to realize yourself as a person and achieve true success without a share of risk.

9. Status and money are your main criteria for success

Money is necessary for life, and praise from colleagues and loved ones is important for self-esteem. However, for people who have chosen someone else's life scenario, formal achievements become the main thing.

Finding out that you are not living your life can be uncomfortable and scary. But it's never too late to find yourself and get back on track. Do not waste your precious time on a boring and uninteresting life.

• Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself the question: what can really fire you up and make you happy? What would you be doing right now if you weren't worried about money? Perhaps a frank answer will surprise you and turn life in the right direction.
• Often our lives are crammed with unnecessary and energy-consuming deeds and communication. Therefore, it makes sense to try gradually eliminate the most unpleasant and debilitating factors from your life. Stop communicating with an unpleasant acquaintance or find strength and no longer take extra work home.
• Try asking yourself what you want right now. For example, what do you really want to eat for dinner or what to do on a day off. Do you really want to go to the birthday party you're invited to, or are you doing it out of courtesy?
• Get familiar with family settings. Ask yourself: Am I pursuing a career in this field because I want to, or is this what my mom wanted? Do not leave decisions about your life in the hands of family or loved ones.

To begin to enjoy your life, you first need to understand what is preventing this. One of the reasons is the lack of dreams. Second, you are living someone else's life. Or to be more precise, your whole life is tuned to the expectations of other people.

There will be no peace in your soul as long as someone tells you how to live. Napoleon Hill

From childhood, we are taught that only when we meet the expectations of other people (parents), we are loved and we are good in their eyes. Washed the dishes - a good boy. I did my homework - smart girl, look at the cartoon.

When we grow up, incentives change, but behavior does not. Very often, our whole life is a collection of other people's expectations.

They entered the institute as an engineer - because their parents wanted it that way (and nothing that you loved to draw most of all, this is not a profession). They went to work at the factory - after all, this was exactly what my parents dreamed of. You can’t refuse friends to meet with them - after all, you will immediately fall into the category of “bad” friends (and it’s okay that this meeting will be to the detriment of the family).

And there are many such examples. We do not urge you to completely ignore the interests of other people. But we want you to understand that this is YOUR life. And you have to live it the way you want, not the way others expect.

How to start living your own life

By the way, it is very easy to understand that you live according to the expectations of others: your life does not bring joy, and you do a lot of things that you don’t want to do at all.

Analyze at least the last week and think about what you did for yourself, and what only because others expected it from you. It will be first step to change your life - to understand how much you live someone else's life.

Second step- Draw a perfect picture of your life. Write what you expect from yourself: what actions, actions, results.

Remember: you have to justify only your expectations!

Of course, when they are not there, others will surely impose them on you. Therefore, it is better to make a list of your expectations.

And when you start living up to your expectations, then you will be happy with your life.

And the most ideal option is when your expectations and the expectations of the people around you coincide. Then wings just grow.

By the way, if the expectations of your environment do not coincide with yours at all, then it is best to change this environment or reduce communication to a minimum (excluding parents, but they will definitely change their attitude if they see you happy).

Why justify the expectations of unsuccessful people who want to see you in their world "home-work-home (TV + sleep)"?

You see yourself in the future healthy and happy. So justify YOUR expectations and live YOUR life!

Do you live with the problems of loved ones, worry about them, worry, take care of, control? And everything would be fine, but in this desire to dissolve in another person, have you completely forgotten about yourself? This condition is called codependency, and today we will try to help you cope with it.

Confess to self-dependence

In our selfish world, you can often meet people who have completely forgotten how to give, wanting only to receive. But co-dependents have a completely different problem - they readily give time, money, their lives, but they are completely unable to accept all this in return. Co-dependents not only harm themselves, but also do their loved ones a disservice - shifting responsibility for their problems to someone else, the object of codependency ceases to consider it his own duty, forgetting that everyone must be responsible for himself. If you have found the courage to admit that you are so lost in someone else's life that you no longer understand where your own is, you are on the path to recovery. Set a goal for yourself to heal, and we will tell you how to do it.

Dissolving into the lives of other people, co-addicts have no time to solve their own problems, controlling someone else's life, they forgot about the need to take responsibility for their own.

Ways to get rid of codependency

1. Move away from the object of codependency. It is necessary to realize that the responsibility for someone else's life does not lie with you, save your object of adoration from constant overprotection - accept that you are not able, and are not obliged to fully solve problems that you should not solve. It is important to calm your own concern for others, let them take responsibility for themselves and their actions.

2. Realize that you have no right to control anyone but yourself. All codependents tend to control - give advice, lecture, point, order, ask, beg, blackmail, bribe, persuade, dissuade - in general, try to manipulate in every possible way. As a result, such behavior only leads to the fact that the object of codependency begins to strongly resist your attempts to make him act as you want and begins to do everything in his own way. Control over someone is just an illusion, self-deception.

3.Let people take control of their own lives, to be who they really are, because you have something to do - to start taking control of your own life.

4. Stop sacrificing yourself. Saving other people from responsibility and solving their problems, instead of themselves, we sacrifice ourselves, and then we feel used, feel sorry for ourselves and get angry at them. You run the risk of remaining in the role of a victim forever if you do not stop saving and patronizing others.

5. Find happiness within yourself. The most common female fear is to be alone, this fear creates in us the illusion that we are not able to live alone even for a minute. We cease to feel whole, to feel like a person, being alone with ourselves. However, it is almost impossible to make another person happy while being unhappy and feeling dependent. The source of happiness and harmony of each person is in himself, find it inside yourself, and you will attract your other half to yourself - the same happy and self-sufficient person.

6. Allow yourself a little selfishness. Do not waste time getting involved in the affairs of others - you have plenty of your own affairs, so devote your time to solving your own problems. Live your own life, do not interfere in someone else's - especially if no one asks you about it.

7. Love yourself. Codependent people often have such low self-esteem that they do not consider themselves worthy of either someone else's or their own care. Put yourself first in your life, if you find it difficult to accept yourself, seek help from a specialist - use all means to sincerely love yourself. Start taking care of yourself as the dearest and most beloved person if you want to fully live your own, and not someone else's life.

8. Learn to express your feelings. By suppressing our own feelings, we block our life energy. It is necessary to give the feelings an outlet - locked inside, at one "perfect" moment they can break out uncontrollably and entail very devastating consequences. Understand that it is quite normal to experience both positive emotions and negative ones, depending on various life situations.

9. Learn to set your own goals. You probably once had a dream - it's time to remember it and turn it into a goal. With every small step towards your goal, you will feel enthusiastic about life. Break the path to a big goal into many small stages and celebrate the passage of each of them.

Live your own life - it's much more fun than taking care of others!

In our life we ​​want to achieve a lot, a lot of things to do. But we do not always understand that when we are constantly chasing something, we do not live in the present. For us, only imaginary stretches of time of the future and the past remain. The future has not yet come, the past is no more. And the present is rushing past us. It is worth stopping and thinking: are we living our own life, and how to start living with your own mind and for your own pleasure.

We ourselves miss the best moments of life, getting lost in thoughts of the past and the future. And then we complain. Let's be clear: the present is the only truly meaningful place to live in the here and now. It is NOW that you can find what you are looking for. Don't waste your time on trifles.

Think about whether it matters what other people say about you, what they think about your personal life. Obligatory advice on its arrangement: how to live, where and by whom to work - will not make you happy. There is only one way out: you must and can make your own decisions and live your life. Only you know what your happy life should be

Perhaps it's time to change something in your worldview, and don't you think so?

It is important to understand that in order for life to follow in the right direction, it is necessary to listen first of all to yourself. Only then the last word remains with you, and not with someone else. At the same time, do not neglect the advice of knowledgeable and experienced people in difficult situations. It is necessary, of course, to learn from the mistakes of others, because. stepping on your own rake is much more painful. You can take into account good and useful advice. Learn to distinguish between benefit from good advice and bad influence from the imposition of someone else's opinion.

However, you already know this, so let's understand the nuances.

The pursuit should be only for "your" dream

Each of us has a dream and more than one, and everyone strives for it. At the same time, one must ask the question, is this really your dream, and is it not someone else's? Indeed, very often people fulfill the dreams of their parents, brothers, sisters, and even friends. And then, throughout their lives, they suffer and suffer, for example, from an incorrectly chosen profession in life, when you need to come to work with a heavy heart and constantly force yourself.

There is an interesting practice for dividing needs into one's own and others', quite simple at the level of a small child: the “why?” exercise. I don't know the scientific term. Thanks to her, just asking yourself the questions “why do I want this?” and “what do I need it for?” you can get to the source of any of your or imposed aspirations. Read more in the article:

Many of us, sometimes, cannot find or understand what their dream is. For such people, insight can only come to old age. To prevent this from happening, you must definitely look for yourself, take small steps towards understanding and start with little things. You can start doing something that you like from a favorite hobby, for example, just spend a little time on it several times a week. Let's say you can draw and you love it, so why not do what you love and spend just a couple of hours to become happier. Gradually, your life will begin to fill with meaning, and.

Make sure that you strive exactly for your dream, and not for other people's desires imposed from the outside!

Pursuit of stability or fear of change

We all want stability in life, to have a family, an apartment, a car, a job, etc. In addition to stability, there is also reliability and safety, but this is not always what is needed in life. Fear of change can hide behind stability. It is very unpleasant to realize that for many years you have lived with an unloved person, and made such a choice yourself, fearing loneliness. Or a job that was afraid to change for a long time took a lot of energy, time and health.

Everyone has a purpose in life and most people don't realize it. Often we strive to conform to someone else's idea of ​​what we should be. Think about whether you want to live like this. And then admit that somewhere they didn’t take a risk and didn’t change their lives for a more interesting and better present and future. Maybe it makes sense to quit and start traveling. Or maybe, on the contrary, return from the peak of the downshift and throw all your talent, for example, into science.

If your choice is made in favor of independent travel around our country and Asia, then we want to offer a couple of tips:

Behind apparent stability often lies the fear of change, which prevents you from taking important steps towards a life of your own pleasure.

Chasing money or material possessions

We live in a society where everything is bought and sold with money. Without them, we would not be able to comfortably exist. But let's talk, we learned from TV shows that the rich also cry, and often do not find their happiness in money or expensive things. Many of us only think that we will be happy if we live in a big house, wear branded clothes, and have a new car. Unfortunately, most of this will not be tested to verify

Big money is always big difficulty to keep them and the danger of losing them. True, little money or its complete absence is no less a problem. Think that we become happier not when we spend money on buying a specific item (ticket, theater ticket, TV), but on satisfying our desires, for example: unforgettable travel experiences around the world, vivid emotions from going to the theater, or, simply , the joy of buying a new TV.

Set the right goal and strive for it, remember that money cannot be a goal, they are only a means to achieve it, do not be too lazy to read the article:

Go to your dream or goal and you will not be left without a livelihood. If you chase only money, you will lose your dream and end up devastated. Take it easy on money, do what you love in life, work on projects that interest you. And spend money with pleasure, not only for yourself, but also for loved ones and friends, do it with ease in your soul, and you will be in a good mood every day.

Money is just a means to an end, take it easy, because there are many ways to achieve goals

Work for your pleasure

The work in your life doesn't have to be a hard, never-ending challenge. The more you stay at work, the more nervous you are, you work without holidays, the less health you have left. Yes, and the desire to work disappears.

Scientific studies show that an employee who has come back from a vacation is much more productive than someone who has not seen this vacation for many years. A rested person begins to work with renewed vigor, with a fresh look. He is able to do more things in less time. Take a step towards change and find something to your liking, change your boring job for a more interesting one. After all, nothing is impossible in our life. We set ourselves barriers when in fact we can conquer any peaks. And what you love can be fun.

Many believe that it is not easy to leave to work on the Internet, and only a few can do this. We are now preparing a whole series of stories and suggestions on the topic of remote work, but for now I recommend reading an article about online earnings:

Find something you love, stop WORKING and start WORKING for your own pleasure

The pursuit of external beauty and youth

There is a lot of pressure coming from the media right now. For example, about the beautiful appearance of various celebrities who have undergone a large number of plastic surgeries in order to smooth out wrinkles for a short time, or enlarge their breasts, or make their eyes expressive. But there are no guarantees that you will save your health and not lose it.

Chasing beauty in a natural way, namely; go in for sports, watch your diet, be in balance with your inner world - isn't this the norm? When a person has found his destiny, is engaged in his favorite and interesting business, does not forget about health and travel, then such a person will simply shine from the inside. None of us will ever get old enough to stop dreaming, setting new goals for ourselves and realizing them. You just need to believe in yourself.

If a few extra pounds are still deposited on your sides, then I recommend the following series of articles on losing weight and working according to the bodyflex method:

Watch your health, but don't go too far, just take some time to exercise and eat

You don't need to prove anything to anyone

Always remember that you don't have to prove anything to anyone. If the people around you cannot accept your world the way you created it, then it's time to move on. You live your life and build it the way you want it. Many people, only when they are on their deathbed, understand that they should have listened to their true feelings and boldly lived by them, and not chase someone else's opinion about themselves.

You need to learn to tell the difference, and be wary of those people who try to control you, who can make you feel guiltlessly guilty, or make you doubt yourself. People like vampires absorb internal forces, bring a feeling of emptiness from communicating with them. They put pressure on pity, on honor, on your promises, while manipulating you.

It is important to realize now that you do not owe anything to anyone, only to yourself.

People and relationships

We all have friends and acquaintances, and we know that we can only share our innermost secrets with a few people whom we trust very much. You must learn not to hold back people who are moving away from you, because all those who want to communicate will remain and will be there. It is important to realize that not all relationships are healthy.

For communication, choose people who can always listen, who you can trust, with whom you can be yourself. And in, which are sometimes pairs of old bores whom you considered friends for many years. Remember the law of the crab can, when those who stay below keep those who want to get free - this works even more effectively with people. Don't be afraid to run away from the crab people

Do not hold on to old connections - your loved ones should not drag you to the bottom,

Where to look for your love

Love is the feeling that inspires us, colors life in bright colors. It must be mutual. If you don't and you're constantly fighting for someone's attention, you could end up getting hurt. You need to let go of this attitude, then true love will knock on your door. Draw your attention to yourself, accept yourself as you are, occupy your mind with interesting things and discoveries. Find a hobby that will be to your liking and expand your social circle, where you can find like-minded people, acquaintances, friends and your love. For example, sign up for a contemporary art class or join a group going on a hike. This will increase your chances of meeting interesting people and meeting your soul mate among them.

Love is a big driving force, but don't chase after it, it will find you as soon as you let go of the situation.

8 easy steps to a happy life

To summarize all that has been said, what should you do or not do in order not to depend on the opinions of strangers, to start living your own and at the same time a happy life:

• Stick to your dream, not the one that was imposed on you, look for it, fulfill it and enjoy it. Remember that it is never too late to dream and seek your goal.
• Do not be afraid of changes, they are only for the better, they will make your life more interesting and eventful and you will never regret what you did not do.
• Money is not an end, but only a means. Go to your dream and you will not be left without a livelihood.
• The work should be interesting and if it is not, then there is nothing possible to change and fix it.
• Beauty should be natural, say no to plastic surgery, or by old age there will be not a face, but a mask. First of all, think about maintaining your health.
• Remember that in this life you do not need to prove anything to anyone.
• Relations with the people around you should be without any vamperism. You need to keep in touch only with those with whom you are really comfortable and with whom you can be yourself.
• If you have not met your soul mate yet, or are chasing unrequited attention, then let go of everything, find a new hobby where you can meet new people of interest, and you will not notice how love will find you by itself.

Create your life that you love now, today, with your own hands, and live in the present. Just look how beautiful and diverse the world is and how many interesting places are waiting to receive you.

Be sure to tell your friends about us

6 comments

You speak so easily. Change jobs. It's like they're waiting for you everywhere. You have to work where you succeed, and of course strive for the best. But not everyone works in the job they would like to, simply because they don’t want to take them there.

1. This is fundamentally wrong and decadent desire. Every job requires a specialist. Moreover, a good specialist is sooner or later offered leadership positions. But for this you need to truly love and appreciate your work. And if you are not doing what you love, then all the work comes out of the stick. Therefore, it is extremely important to decide what you want to do. For example, at one time I rushed between a manager and a system administrator, but in the end my passion for computers overcame. And now my skills allow me to engage in my hobby, including this blog. Where Nastya and I are trying to show by our example that you can live a little differently.

   I plan to move abroad for permanent residence, i.e. it turns out that I actually leave my mother alone at that age. Mom definitely won’t go anywhere with me and I don’t know who could look after her. I feel remorse, but I really want to live my life. I would like to hear your opinion on how you would act in this situation.
   P.S. Mom's apartment is registered to her sister

   1. Good afternoon.
      YES, it's not an easy question. On the one hand, you can’t leave your elderly parents, and I have many friends with similar thoughts. On the other hand, you can devote your whole life to the family and carry it like an eternal cross, but in my opinion, there is not much dignity in this. You can dedicate yourself to someone wholeheartedly, only if you have a sincere desire, and if dreams of going abroad loom somewhere, and as soon as the question of choice arises at all, then serving the mother will not bring anything good. You will simply begin to slowly fade, while being angry at your loved one - this will not feel good to anyone. Your life is, first of all, your dream, and it was your parents who wished and wish you the best fate. At the same time, feeling that she is standing in the way of your dream, your mother may also begin to wither.

      Any true mother wants the best for her child and is ready for any unrequited sacrifices - this is the peculiarity of motherhood. Wanting happiness without asking for anything in return is true love. Of course, many of us were reproachfully told that “you can’t even give water in old age,” but such words are obtained only thanks to the desire to raise a decent person. If you have a question to go or not, then you are a decent person.

      I repeat, your situation is not very simple, but you should not give up and ruin your dream - so that later you don’t have to regret everything you didn’t do. Do you want to do the best and the best? Live and be happy, let your mother see that everything is fine with you, share your joy with her. Come to visit her from abroad, communicate online - the benefit of technology now allows. When your mother needs help, hire a nurse to come and help every day. If it's really hard, take her to your place, not now, but in the future, when she really needs your support. Believe me, knowing that your life is a success and seeing your success, your mother will be able to be with you and rejoice with you much longer.